A Bigger Plan at Work
It was the end of summer 2019, and a wave of depression had settled in. I was in constant pain from a car accident in June. I was dealing with anxious thoughts and interrupted sleep due to terrible nightmares. The physical and emotional healing process was taking much longer than I expected.
I couldn’t take much time off work as it was very busy, and I was juggling multiple important projects, so I put work before my health and pushed through the pain and depression. (I highly advise against doing such a foolish thing – if your body is screaming for rest, find a way to give it what it needs, the show will go on without you, despite any thoughts to the contrary.)
Then, I lost my job. The Human Resources representative appeared in my office one afternoon and told me I was no longer employed by the company.
Wait, whaaat?
Less than three months prior, I had received a stellar annual performance review.
No explanation was offered, no emotion extended, just a blunt warning that I had ten minutes to clean out my office. I was walked out of the building like a criminal.
On the drive home, I burst into tears and threw myself a first-class pity party, wondering what I did to receive such a cruel dismissal. I felt like a complete failure. I was a single mother with two kids that counted on me, and the gravity of what had just happened sent me into a downward spiral of panic, confusion and shame. It was a nasty emotional cocktail.
The heaviness was too much to bear alone. I turned daily to God’s word and prayed – often not even knowing what to say or what to pray for. Consistently, I felt a gentle nudge to pause the job search effort and wait. But shouldn’t I burst into the nervous flurry of finding a new job, isn’t that the reasonable and responsible thing to do at a time like this?
Then God led me to Psalm 106:13 – They did not wait for his counsel.
A few days later, Psalm 46:10 – Be still (cease striving) and know that I am God.
Then Psalm 37:7 – Rest in the Lord and wait patiently for him.
Wait for my counsel. Be still. Rest. God was asking me to wait, but it made no sense to me at the time. In obedience, I trusted God and waited and focused on healing and gaining my physical and emotional strength. Looking back, it was merciful that God didn’t tell me why I was waiting. I would’ve been crushed by the weight of that knowledge.
Two and a half months later, the waiting came into full focus. My daughter was diagnosed with stage 4 cancer. I needed to be home; I could have never held down a full-time job and properly taken care of her. I would have never been strong enough to tend to her had I not taken time to heal my injuries. God worked everything out for the good. Not only had he provided the way for me to be home with her, he also provided a solution to the financial component of my situation. In my wildest dreams, I couldn’t have imagined a more complete, more loving, more perfect plan.
With God, you are not left to your own resources to cope with problems. God works in everything – not just isolated incidents – for our good. This does not mean that all that happens to us is good. Evil most certainly is present in our world, but God is able to turn every circumstance around for our long-term good.
Are you dealing with an unexpected and heavy burden right now and feeling tired and worn out? Do you need rest? Guidance? Direction? Rest in the stillness of God’s presence. He knows what the path ahead looks like for you, and he has prepared a way. Often, we can only see clearly a small piece of the big picture, so we must trust God without reservation and with confidence, knowing that every detail of our lives is worked into something good.
Romans 8:26-28 | The moment we get tired in the waiting, God’s Spirit is right alongside helping us along. If we don’t know how or what to pray, it doesn’t matter. He does our praying in and for us, making prayer out of our wordless sighs, our aching groans. He knows us far better than we know ourselves…and keeps us present before God. That’s why we can be so sure that every detail in our lives of love for God is worked into something good. (MSG)
Wanna pray?
God, help us to rest in your infinite power and in the stillness of your presence as you prepare our path ahead. Help us to walk through this day, trusting you with great confidence, never forgetting how much you love us and knowing that you cause everything to work together for good. Thank you for your presence, your promises, your guidance and your love.