On our recent visit, I reminded her of how much her kindness had meant to our family.  As we talked, I sensed a quietness in her. “Are you okay?” I asked.

She shared that she had recently found a lump in her armpit and was scheduled for more tests. The dreaded wait begins for her.

We’ve endured that wait a few times in the past four years since our daughter finished chemo. Symptoms appear, lumps form, and anxiety strikes full throttle.

 In April of 2021 – less than a year after our daughter received a clear PET scan confirming that her cancer was gone – a lump the size of a melon developed on her neck. A PET scan was ordered immediately. The results showed the image of her body lit up as if the cancer had come back full swing. Sullen but with some hope, the oncologist explained, “It’s a fifty-fifty chance – either she has a very bad, odd infection, or the cancer has returned. We’ll need to do a biopsy to confirm.”

I went home, locked myself in the bathroom, and screamed into a towel so that no one in my family could hear. I felt overwhelmed with anxiety and confusion, full of disbelief that God would allow this to happen. Again.

I was lost and swimming in the sea of “what if,” fighting an emotional riptide that was pulling me away from safety at shore, and anxiety weighing me down like an anvil attached to my waist.

I decided to get quiet and let God’s words guide me in the swell of emotion that was drowning me. God reminded me of Psalm 62:8 which says, Trust in God at all times. Pour out your heart to Him, for God is your refuge.

I took a deep breath to try and calm down and repeated those words: at all times … at all times. I understood that God was asking me to trust him even in the face of this most unimaginable and terrifying news.

Over the next several days, while we waited for the results, I encouraged my daughter to imagine drawing a circle around her. I had her fill the circle with everything that would bring her peace and strengthen her faith. In the circle, she put God’s word, friends and family, exercise and nutrition, good books, laughter, and all her favorite things that brought comfort and joy. Nothing else was allowed in the circle while she waited.

The biopsy results arrived several days later. It was not cancer, but an unusual infection that causes a condition known as Cat Scratch Fever. Crazy, I know!

I share this story to remind you to put God in the center and know that he is in the waiting. Maybe you found a suspicious lump, or you’re awaiting test results, or perhaps you’re facing an uncertain future. Try the circle exercise – make your circle as large or as small as you need it to be, and remember that whatever lies ahead, God is already there, preparing the way. So, go ahead, take your worries to God, cast your burdens upon him. He truly does care and will sustain you.

1 Peter 5:7 | You can throw the whole weight of your anxieties upon him, for you are his personal concern.

Wanna pray?

Thank you for your Word, God. Thank you for your faithfulness. Your loving care and concern for us are greater than we can imagine. Help us to cast our burdens on you and leave them there and help us to trust you fully with our lives.