What Is It We Really Need?
I dropped off my older daughter at kindergarten and drove to the grocery store with my younger daughter, a queasy feeling settling in my stomach.
I had exactly twenty dollars in my wallet and knew it wasn’t enough to purchase everything on my grocery list.
I had divided the list into two columns – on the left were the items we absolutely needed such as milk, bread and peanut butter, and on the right was a list of items the girls had wanted, such as Teddy Grahams, Goldfish crackers and apple juice.
The economy had tanked, and I was laid off from my job. Despite enormous effort to find work, I was still relying on unemployment compensation to make ends meet. My next unemployment check was a week away, and aside from the twenty bucks in my wallet, I had about five dollars in my checking account. It was a dismal outlook.
I grabbed a cart and strapped my three-year-old in. As we walked the aisles, I calculated a running total with every item I placed in the cart.
Feeling deflated because I had only been able to get the items on the left side of my list, I headed to the checkout and enviously watched the people ahead of me purchase ice cream and fresh peaches. The peaches prompted a sense of failure; I hadn’t been able to buy fresh fruit in weeks – the canned variety was much cheaper. I was a college-educated, self-driven woman with a good resume, and yet I couldn’t land a job and provide my daughters with something as basic as fresh fruit.
I looked down at my daughter in the cart, legs dangling and swinging to a tune she was humming, completely unaware of how close we were to losing everything. I thought of my ex-husband and his grim financial situation. They deserved better, I thought. Listening to my daughter’s sweet singing triggered an emotional implosion and I felt a mental buckling under the pressure of shame.
As the cashier scanned the last of my items, I held my breath, fearing I’d be forced to send items back. The cashier announced my total: $19.83. I exhaled a heavy sigh of relief. I collected my change and lowered my sunglasses – I didn’t want my daughter to see the tears building. I had seventeen cents in my purse and the food I had just purchased would need to last a week.
As we exited the store, the sunlight and open air made me feel vulnerable and exposed, and the tears I had been suppressing sprung loose. Self-pity and anger came easy. Where was God? I had been praying and searching for a job at a frenzied pace. I wanted to work; I wasn’t being lazy. What was going on here? Isn’t God supposed to take care of our needs? In the instant that followed those thoughts, I heard a calm voice pierce my bitter, angry heart, “Did you not get everything you needed?”
I looked down at the crumpled list in my fist and remembered that every item on the left side had been crossed off. Yes, I answered to the air.
Gratitude began to overshadow anger and self-pity. Desperation was replaced with peace. With seven simple words, God gave me a quick attitude adjustment and taught me the difference between needs and wants and reminded me that I was seen and not forgotten. It was at that moment that I discovered this eternal truth: When God is all you have, you realize that God is all you need.
Philippians 4:19 | And my God will supply all your needs according to His riches in glory in Christ Jesus. (NASB)
Wanna pray?
God, you can be trusted to always meet our needs, even if it’s courage to face some of the most difficult human circumstances like poverty, unemployment and even death. Help us to remember the difference between our wants and our needs. Help us to accept the fact that we may not get everything we want. You made us and know us best, and you know that we prefer comfort over pain. Continue to teach us that by trusting in you, our attitudes can change from wanting everything to accepting your provisions for our lives, according to your plans and purposes.